1 Corinthians 3:16

For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?
But we have the mind of Christ.

My passion is to bring people to God. I yearn for unbelievers to meet with Jesus, and have Him in their life. I feel very strongly about this, and sometimes I feel down when they see my not-so-perfect life and I worry that I'm not being a good witness.

I'm coming to terms that we are not perfect and are not meant to be. We will never be. And that's ok. The conference I went to in Leeds reminded me that we needn't be ashamed of our imperfection. Often Christians hide that they have a sin (or sins) to deal with, hiding them and pretending in church that everything is going perfect, that they're so in awe of God.

My life is visible to the non-christian students around me right now - they can see my every move. I am careful with how I behave and how I go on with my everyday life. I admit that I'm not the wisest person, I don't think I'll be that wise old lady when I grow older. I'll most probably be that  senile crazy old lady who laughs a lot. I'm not wise enough to handle a lot of situations around me, but I know that I have the mind of Christ and I am speaking of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given to us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.

I know that my happiness isn't the end-all and be-all for what God wants for me, but I know in my heart that God wants me to be happy too. I am not blaming anyone - we're way past that now. I'm happy because I'm finding God here, in Huddersfield among the people that live here. I'm happy because I'm getting closer to God. I talk to Him way more now than I did before, I read the bible every morning when I get up, I just want to be close to Him.

I'm happy because He's giving me a second chance to do this right, not that it wasn't right before. We learn from the past, and move on. I never want to be far away from God, not ever.